Family ignoring my weight loss?

Hong Kong Yanpep International
Veggie-Path said:
Anyone else feel like they're still the same person even after losing a lot?
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YES! It's wild. I keep thinking I can't fit into clothes when I know I can. I've had to buy new stuff but still reach for the bigger sizes out of habit. It's like my mind's stuck.
 
I'm almost a year on the meds, down around 45lbs, and my mood is SO much better. I used to be grumpy, and now I just want to smile at everyone. These meds totally changed my life!
 
The silence is harder to navigate than criticism because it gives you nothing to respond to - with criticism you can push back, but silence just sits there. Your sister's resistance probably combines her own complicated relationship to weight and bodies with not wanting to acknowledge the change in case it opens a conversation she doesn't have the tools for. Some people don't know what to say when the transformation is significant - not because they don't notice, but because everything they could say feels loaded. The shared Reta journey with your daughter works from the opposite direction: a reference point that makes the topic easier for both of you. You can't make your sister acknowledge something she's chosen not to notice. The question is whether her silence matters enough to name directly.
 
the tell-only-if-asked approach is one of the more sustainable positions - it removes the ongoing management of other people's opinions from your daily experience, which is energy better spent elsewhere. family dynamics around weight and health are complicated in a specific way that makes unsolicited disclosure usually not worth the conversation it opens
 
Strangest part honestly was some relatives seeming prouder of me for dropping 40 pounds than for finishing college or having a kid.
Weight's such a loaded topic for people. Can genuinely shift how you're treated socially either direction.
My naturally thin older sibling actually snapped at me over 'taking such a risky medication,' but deep down I get it, she's not used to not being the thin one anymore.
A year plus in now, people have gotten used to the smaller version of me and the reactions have mostly faded. Still nags at me though, knowing regaining weight would shift how they treat me one way, and losing more would shift it another way. So I've just decided to focus on myself and tune out anyone with opinions.
And my ex? He's been acting strange around me lately. Gross. Time for him to keep his hands off.
 
She sounds jealous! Wouldn't stress about it too much. Congrats on your progress, just tune her out. Haven't even mentioned it to my own sister or sister-in-law, knowing they'd have plenty to say and I'm just not up for it. They'll find out once the results speak for themselves
 
Kept quiet about it for five months since I didn't want to feel any pressure around losing weight. Worried even well-meaning check-ins, like someone asking how much more I'd dropped since they last asked a week or two prior, would just pile on stress. Now that I'm down 53 pounds, I'll share with close friends if it comes up.
 
That whole thing where family tries telling people to stop before they've even hit a healthy weight is bizarre. Didn't happen with anyone close to me, but a handful of well-meaning coworkers seemed genuinely alarmed and said something, and of course my aunt's putting on a show of concern. People losing weight really seems to unsettle others.
 
Everyone listen!! Fairly convinced my aunt is winding herself up to drop something catty regarding my weight loss over on Facebook. She's dead set against this entire drug class.
She left a comment on one of my recent posts, the happy near-finish-line kind, and it did not read as coming from a good place at all. Responded upbeat and without a shred of apology, doubling down on how thankful I am this treatment exists. Now it's a waiting game.
Don't think she'd actually go so far as to spell out the catty part directly, spent literal decades training my father's relatives that leaving me alone spares everybody more hurt in the long run. Still, the itch to say it is practically radiating off her.
(One of them's fully blocked already, she's got a track record of unwanted preachy input and brushed off the single heads-up she ever received. Another stays off social platforms entirely. This particular one remains unblocked purely out of affection for her kid, hate the thought of causing that child grief, but she'd best tread carefully.)
 
A big weight loss happened to my grown daughter, and when I complimented her looks, she moved on to something else. Months later, two friends of hers mentioned using a GLP-1 at a party, so I wondered aloud whether she was on it too. She said she felt I was tracking her weight and that she has far more interesting qualities than her size, then walked away. Reactions to weight comments are unpredictable. Weight had never come up between us before, so no pattern there. Do it for yourself. Others notice, but they hold back because touchy reactions like this happen.
 
your plan actually sounds really solid. telling someone you dont care to discuss your physique works as a complete standalone reply, you dont owe anyone further explanation, family included. forty pounds since march is a big deal, and some people will keep pushing out of genuine curiosity or good intentions, but the boundary can stay exactly the same: something like 'im doing well, appreciate you asking, lets switch topics.' if your sister keeps pressing, redirecting with a question of your own tends to work surprisingly well since most people enjoy talking about themselves, so bring up something from her own life and watch her forget she was even grilling you. different is how you look now, different is how you feel now, and the why stays entirely up to you to share. enjoy the holiday
 
Not noticing and staying quiet are two different things. Nobody close to me said a word when i dropped about 40lbs, until a random cleaning crew lady caught me in the hall and said wow, you dropped a lot. Some people feel that mentioning big weight loss is like saying you used to be fat. And what if someone raises the topic of your weight loss and the answer is cancer, or Addisons disease, and then everybody looks around awkwardly? Its like people who notice a pregnant womans belly but hold back from asking, worried its not a baby, only lots and lots of tortas.
 
In my experience, the only people who feel okay praising your weight loss are those you told about your struggles beforehand and who know about the journey. Commenting on someone else's loss when you're not a known confidant risks sounding like 'wow, you're less fat than before, you used to be huge, good for you!'
 
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