My husband said he misses the old me and I don't know what to do with that

[SteadyOnSema]

Last night my husband said something that has been rattling around my head all day. Out of nowhere he told me he sometimes misses the old me, the more fun one. When I asked, he explained how I was the one suggesting restaurants, splitting dessert, grabbing late tacos once the film ended. Everything now revolves around what fits my plan. I turn down invitations if I can't look up the menu first, and I'm in bed by nine because staying up means snacking.

He didn't say it to hurt me. It came out wistful, and honestly he has a point. Food was most of our time together, cooking and trying new places and ordering strange things on trips. Now I scan sauce jars with an app while he waits. I've lost 47 lbs and wouldn't undo it. Sleep is better and my knees stopped aching. Still, maybe I swapped one problem for a prettier one. Has a partner of yours ever said anything similar? Did it ease once the change felt older, or do I just accept that this is me now?

 

[feistyapricot]

Enjoying food is what I miss. Nothing sounds good and I never crave anything, so planning meals is a pain! lol! But I like that overdoing it is no longer automatic. Overeating is a conscious choice, and that has been good for me.

 

[basil_m6]

Yes, same here! Dinners and lunches out with hubby and friends make up much of my life. At lunch today I picked precisely what I craved, ate at a snail's pace and took half back with me. I feel good. I still do what I like, the noise has just calmed (mostly).

 

[InjectLoss]

Week 7 for me, and I now see how much I used food to calm my nervous system. Food left but the dysregulation stayed. My therapist suggested sitting with it and telling myself that these are feelings I dodged for years, apparently healthier (ugh, feelings). Exercise has not gone up yet since fatigue is still high, but I expect it to help. A trip up to Lake Michigan is on the calendar for next week and I am excited. I would not say life is joyless, I just spend more time in the moment and less stuck in my head wishing things were different.

 

[antsy-justhere24]

Honestly you sound like you're still stuck in diet culture. For me the point kinda of the medication is being normal around kinda food. I eat what I want, go out to dinner, have dessert most days, keep a snack drawer stuffed full. The entire point is that intense food noise no longer harasses me, so I can trust myself w/ the drawer, and I only want from it kinda at a frequency I consider healthy. It took years before mounjaro for me to rebuild my relationship w/ food, by ending restriction entirely. A healthy lifestyle for me includes dinner w/ loved ones, fancy restaurants, desserts, taco night, and a snack at midnight when I want one, plus staying up past 9pm. If I end up settling at 75kg rather than pushing for 65kg, fine. Skinnier doesn't equal healthier past a certain point.